Steps

Mr Sweetness and Light took his very first steps with two legs! He got to try it out for about 15 to 20 minutes. This first leg is a rough one so changes can be made to suit his uniqueness.  More work will be done on it since it couldn't be adjusted any further for him. Our prosthetist said to expect more adjustments as he learns to walk because his gait and stance will change over time. At his next appointment, the leg will get fine-tuned even more and then he will meet with the physical therapist who will help learn to use it.





I cannot begin to describe the joy I felt watching his first few steps. Since I didn't have any of my children as infants, this is the first 'first step' experience I've had with any of my kids. I wasn't sure whether to make a fuss--after all he is 15 years old and boys that age don't really want that kind of fussing since they're 'grown up now!'

Firsts...

When I began the journey to adopt my children there were many things I never imagined: Telling nine year old Miracle Man to come down from 25 feet up a fir tree the day before major surgery; Explaining to 14 year old Mr. Sweetness and Light why he shouldn't climb on top of our roof at 10 p.m. to look at the stars (never mind how he got himself up there in the first place!); Learning about hair--how MM didn't like it--never mind that he was using the clippers to shave the dreaded stuff off the tops of his arms; Spending 1 1/2 hours curling Miss Sunshine's hair for photo day.

The past year has been full of all sorts of firsts: Mr. Sweetness and Light played sports for the first time: baseball, soccer, swimming. His first P.E. class. First trip to the beach. First time going to church. Miracle Man graduated from middle school and started high school. (And boy have I gotten short! Every time I turn around I'm getting shorter!) He drummed up his first job--on his own, might I add. I can't believe what a man he has started to become! He's showing initiative, working hard, growing into himself. Miss Sunshine sang in choir and joined track team. She's set her sails and looks toward the stars.

Last month,  we attended a clinic for challenged athletes. SL learned how he could swim. Learning how he can as opposed to how he can not. That mindset became so important during his adoption. It is a good life lesson. Figure out how you can do something rather than looking for all the ways and reasons you can't. Over my life I have watched so many people do the latter rather than the former.

Tomorrow SL will get fitted with a rough prosthetic leg and begin the journey toward walking on two legs--something he could only dream of 18 months ago. The road ahead won't necessarily be easy. He will have to use muscles in ways he has never done before. Just the motion of walking will be so alien for him. There will be socks and liners and medications none of us has experience with yet. Eventually, there will be an operation--but the folks at our hospital want to get him on the road to walking before that occurs because it will give him a positive mindset when things are hard and not working just right. He will get to know what it is to walk before any other changes get made. What freedom he will experience by not having to have a crutch to lug around all the time! He dreams of new firsts now:  riding a bicycle, driving, running in track. I've cautioned him that this first leg is a walking leg, not a running leg. "Why can't I have a running let?! I don't want a walking leg! I want to run! I hate walking legs!" How does one answer that? I did give an answer. It feels so much like holding him back--something I never want to do. We have to apply for a running leg. Prosthetics aren't cheap. A first prosthetic runs about $9,000 and subsequent ones could go up to $50,000. I will figure out how we can get him his running leg.

New Page!

Hi everyone! Just wanted to give you a heads up about the newest page here. There can be a lot of hidden costs after you get home with your child as well as the need to find resources you weren't expecting. The newest page is called adaptive resources and will be a work in progress covering all that stuff you'll need after you're home with your bundle of joy! Check back often to see what's new!

Not soon enough

My heart breaks tonight. Even in the best of circumstances, adoption doesn't always happen soon enough. I read somewhere several months ago only 20 percent of the children who need families actually make it into a family. Terrible odds. With all that we have in this world, it is tempting to think thing surely must be better now. And for many of the world's children, perhaps conditions in orphanages and foster care is better than it used to be. Even that isn't enough. Why do American parents adopt internationally when children need homes here?

You may find the answer here:

http://crazylifeofthewilksfamily.blogspot.com/2014/02/today-orphan-died-in-china.html?spref=fb

Sleepless Mama calls out to the universe

Recently, I have dwelled on the children I was not able to bring home. Over this past weekend, I checked on the other young men I had been considering when I started the process to adopt my son over a year and a half ago; Four boys still wait. One ages out next month. I don't want that young man's future to be one of marginalization and that feeling will not let me sleep. I cannot believe no one will scoop him up and give him all that he needs in life! Can you make room for one more child in your life? He's healthy, does all right in school, is an athlete, plays well with the other children and has a big heart. Act now. Contact me for more details and contact an adoption agency. He doesn't have time to wait.

This article appeared on one of the boards I subscribe to. It was the first thing I read this morning. Do you think it was chance that it fell into my hands to read on a night when my heart burns so much to find a young man a family that I cannot sleep? It is a long article. My heart broke all over again.

http://aeon.co/magazine/world-views/whats-it-like-to-be-disabled-in-china/

Immanuel Needs a Miracle

When I started this journey three years ago, I called this my faith adoption thinking I would name the little girl I would adopt something that meant faith. Boy, was I wrong. Pun intended. This has been an adoption testing my faith at every turn. Folks who've been on this journey with me  know the long hours I have put in to raise funds via work, selling Tupperware, making crafts to sell at bazaars, and my fundraising efforts through organizations such as Reece's Rainbow, Go Fund Me, and Bonfire funds. People have graciously donated to both of the first two funds for which I am forever grateful. I've applied for foundation grants and was very, very grateful to receive one grant which will cover a third of the mandatory orphanage donation fee.

Immanuel needs a miracle now.  Funding fell through for my plane tickets--there's a long story there of what happened and didn't happen while I was dealing with a crisis due to actions of a bus driver at my kids' school. Airplane tickets now are $2700 and above, and rising.  I have to get to China by December 28th. There's no budge room, not even a little. I have to get Immanuel on December 30th or he loses his chance for a family forever. This weekend, when I should be making final preparations, cleaning house, and finishing up stuff from work,  I am now in crisis for this child. I am his last hope. I cannot, will not, let him down.

Donations to either Reece's Rainbow or Go Fund Me are needed now. Word needs to be spread beyond the base of folks following the journey here and on FB. Make Immanuel's dream of a family come true this Christmas.

Ginger on a Mission

So incredibly grateful for this support! You have got to go check out their designs! So beautiful! Thank you thank you thank you!

 

Ginger on a Mission is feeling lead to help a specific family racing against time and would like to donate 75% of our sales to the Terry Tomaszewski family as they need to get their aging out boy by January 1st! This is a desperate situation as in Immanuel's country, he will lose his chance to be adopted on that date!

Please consider donating or purchasing from our site: https://www.etsy.com/shop/GINGERONAMISSION and specify the Tomaszewski family. Read their story here: http://reecesrainbow.org/67597/sponsortomaszewski

 

 

We need it now, Chihuahuas in the street, and a wild ride

If you've been following my blog for a while, you have already come to the conclusion that I will get my elbow stuck in a tuba case once in a while. Okay that one really didn't happen to me. I just heard about it. But it could have happened to me.

You see Janet, it's this way (time to run and hide this signals long, impossible or headshake producing stories that actually happened-- to me.):

 Just before work a little over a week ago, I got notice of LSC receipt--early (And hooray too, the folks over in China rock! Very grateful to them. Very.). Only problem was, I was just going in the door to work, 15 miles away from my computer and the needed paperwork with no way to extricate it or get to it in anything resembling the near future. Paperwork needed now. Now. And by the by, can you get it notarized? Cleared my schedule to get the needed paperwork out the door and on its way. Almost. Meanwhile, there were Chihuahuas running in the street, bicyclists jumping out from between moving cars and one and all trying to get me to hit them. Didn't work. I made it through the gauntlet. Docs out the door and overnighted, hah!

Or so I thought. Phone call the next day: you forgot the I-864. Horrors! No, really.  The I-800 can't go in without the I-864. It just can't. It's a permission and the I-800 will just sit there, smiling on someone's desk just as if it had good sense. Or worse. It will sit in the lock box. No one really knows what the lock box is. Well, it's probably a box and has a lock on it...or maybe not. Your assigned officer cannot go get documents out of the lock box. Not even if you beg and promise to be good or say pretty please with sugar on top. I'm not sure if the supervisors can either. This is a Fort Knox kind of thing. Procedures have to be followed. I imagine a kind of Mission Impossible sort of scenario.

Phone call continues: The signed LSC copy sent back immediately--we need the original signed and dated, not just a photocopy as you'd been told.  Send both back together. A day's delay. Not good. Not good at all. There's so little time. That was Friday. Saturday, no document. Okay, it will still get there in time if sent next-day delivery on Monday. No document Monday morning. No document Monday noon, Monday afternoon, and no document Monday evening. I'm going bonkers at this point.  I call and email my case manager even though I know she won't get the messages until the next day.

I can't sleep. I'm eating chocolate nuked with peanut butter like there's no tomorrow. Try it!! It is way better than a chocolate confection made with those ingredients from the store. Make sure to use dark chocolate and don't burn it. The pieces will still have their shape, they don't have to be liquid. Add Adams peanut butter about two huge spoonfuls. After nuking, not before. About one minute in the microwave. And you'll have bliss. As long as the pyrex measuring cup doesn't explode. That didn't happen--this time.

(Note: Nothing worse than burned chocolate....well, maybe cat pee in the toaster or on a hot stove top. That is truly awful. Truly. Toaster cat exhibited either great talent or sneakiness and cunning beyond belief or maybe total insensitivity. No clues left behind to alert an unsuspecting human who can't smell.)

 Anyway, just after midnight: delivery attempted over the weekend but no one home. ARgh! They knew I wouldn't be home and it had to be sent so it could be left! Livid. And what's with sending it via USPS? Wasn't it supposed to come FedEx? Water over the dam. USPS dated the notice for February, not November. It almost got shredded. More chocolate. Try to sleep. Get up, race to post office for the document so it can get out and I can get to work. Only, there's no way they can return it same day. Not even at this early hour. No way. No way. No way. Kind of like a bad dream. FedEx can't perform the deed either. UPS? No. Suggestions? Hiring a private jet. Are you kidding me?!! You're not kidding. You leave me no option. Mama's gotta do what Mama's gotta do: Cancel work. Like I don't need the money. Immanuel's life is worth more than anything. And I'm not going down. He's coming home. That's IT!

Grab the kids. Grab the dog. At least he's happy. He gets a ride. Rides = good to him. Call and email the agency, I'm coming. Adrenaline combined with prayer and purpose carried me almost the entire way to Seattle, despite the lack of sleep. As I drove, I practiced controlled breathing, prayed, reminded myself how lucky I was to be able to take off to do something so vitally important. I counted my blessings and admired the beautiful scenery and tried to enjoy the sunshine. The original LSC got signed and submitted. The I864 had to be redone anyway to conform to new instructions which we wouldn't have been able to do without the delay and drive. Lots of times these things happen for a reason. Best of all, we got provisional I800 approval and can look forward to the official approval starting Monday (which actually, technically is today).  "Fast away the old year passes..." "Time is slippin' slippin' into the future..."

Wrong turns can be good too--especially if you end up at Ikea and get items you needed anyway plus a yummy lunch.

Equal isn't always equal

We in the US can shout EOOE! and ADA! all we want. There will still be those who don't embrace this and those discomfited by it and still those who remain ignorant about people with differences. I encounter this with respect to my children--especially Miracle Man. Although, as time has gone by, and he has had more surgeries, that has lessened. Especially after the last surgery where he had rhinoplasty and lip repair.

In my work life, I have to over come ignorance and prejudice on behalf of the people I serve. Sometimes it is with respect to getting volunteer positions to ready someone for real-world work. Other times it is to enable a client to receive the medical care they need. I have encountered this several times over the last few weeks. The most recent was in getting medical help for a very challenged person. The medical professional providing service thought she knew everything about my client's needs because she had a son with similar needs. This person did not see my client as an individual and would not accommodate my client's needs--going against protocols and potentially against ADA requirements. She also dismissed the diagnoses of other medical professionals with a wave of the hand: she knew everything and no one else was qualified to perform the services she did. Other medical professionals had been able to make these accommodations and follow protocols. They were not unreasonable.

Here is an article from USA Today about one family's fight to get medical care for their daughter:

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/10/05/disabled-transplant-amelia-rivera/2917989/

Celebration of light, birth culture loss and growing our family culture

As I watched a family preparing themselves for a Diwali celebration at the beginning of the week, I pondered the loss of birth culture for my children. I thought about how their birth families might be celebrating and the traditions each may have for this holiday. For those not familiar with Diwali, it is the Hindu celebration of light and falls somewhere between the end of October to the first couple weeks in November. Rather than a single day, it is five days--each with its own theme. Family celebrations include special food, prayers, visiting family members, putting on new clothes, and chalk drawings.

This family  included all their members and friends in the festivities, a number of which were born with intellectual and physical challenges. My thoughts turned to my sons. How sad Miracle Man's family hasn't gotten to hear his laughter, listen to his stories, and know the pull of the charisma he exudes. Or even know that he lived and now thrives. I wish they could see him now and see the man he soon will become. Do they ever wonder about him? What is their life like now? What was it like when he was born? Miracle Man remembers enjoying fireworks set off for Diwali and the special time it was for him in India. Would he have had that in his birth family? What would their celebration have been like? And a bigger question: would they have celebrated Diwali? His family might not have been Hindu.

Miss Sunshine surely would have been putting on beautiful sari's or salwar kameez then applying bindis and henna drawings. I imagine her preparing for the holiday with her family and the joyous feeling they may have from visiting with all of their members and friends. I know her birth mother thinks of her even as she goes about her life now.

HH has lived in his birth culture all his years to date. In a little over a month he will either go from all he has known to a world so different he cannot imagine or he will stay in his birth culture but face a life of pain and shame--perhaps not knowing when he will eat again or where his head will rest after a day's toil.  Do his birth parents wonder about him? What would his life have been like if he could have remained with them? What would they celebrate in their family?

I can only give my children small pieces of their birth culture--from the outside. I can give the pieces of my culture which they may or may not keep going forward in their lives. In that way, we graft to one another to grow our family culture and make it our own. We celebrate Diwali, go to India Day celebrations, and eat Indian food. We have in the past gone to Asia Fest, celebrated Chinese New Year, and my children already home love Chinese food. Next year, these will all take on new meaning for us as we work to assimilate HH into our family and bring more of his culture into it.

Pick me! Pick Me! OOOh, ooh, oooh, pick me!

I see you standing on that chair waving your arms about as if you were a windmill, screaming at full volume. You want this so bad you can taste it, right? Right? Wrong.

I need to start sending Murphy birthday cards, presents, build an altar--something. Murphy who? You know...Murphy. The famous one. That Murphy. Of Murphy's Law fame. The man loves me.  Or maybe he hates me and has put a curse on me. I can't tell. All I know is that he and I do a lot together. Too much. Hasn't he ever heard of absence makes the heart grow fonder?

Jury duty. Grand jury duty. For a whole month. And no, they do not let you out of it if you write them a letter explaining what a hardship it will be for you, the plans you have that it will ruin, the impact on your boss' business. Not anymore. Yeah, if you're over 70, sole caregiver to small children for whom you cannot afford daycare or not a US citizen.

Did I need this a month before travel? Did I? When I need the income the most? And, I'm sorry, the puny $10 a day compensation really stinks (of which the municipal parking lot eats half and the burger joint the other half. So they may as well save a dime by not paying at all since they're getting it back anyway.)  I understand they don't want jurors to be in it for the money. But seriously, the guy at the freeway on ramp makes more in an hour!  It feels like my life will be held hostage. And the adoption. And the people I'm contracted to serve who won't get their services because I'm not there to help them.

A funny thing happened on the way to get the kids' passports renewed...

Or maybe not so funny. You decide. You know, adults can renew by mail, right? Lucky us! However,  If you have to go to an actual passport office or a post office, take notice. Children must go in whether it is a renewal or a brand new passport. Stands to reason--they change so much. This travail began over the summer. When the kids weren't in school. When my schedule was packed to the brim.  So far, I have made four trips to get my children's passports renewed. There will be at least a fifth trip. Trip one: office moved. I just assumed they would be in the same place they were a few years ago. The post office doesn't move so why should the passport office, right? Yeah, wrong.  Trip two: We arrive at 2:30 p.m. great, huh?! Not so great. On Friday's they aren't open till 3 p.m., they closed at 2 p.m. I pulled the kids out of school early for that fiasco. Trip three: one app accepted, one rejected. Trip four: they closed early (even though I got there before the posted closure time). You see, they "have paper work to do and there is no budge room on Friday's." That's what the clerk told me.  What happened with the rejected app you ask? Well, your photo cannot have the person smiling with their mouth open. This will be rejected. Costco didn't know that. Neither did I. Now we all know. Copy both front and back of supporting documents--on the same page. DO NOT copy back and front on separate pieces of paper and staple them together. You will either be told to go redo your copies or have to wait for the clerk to redo them for you.

Other things you should know: Your child's emergency contact must be a family member, not a family friend. I had put a family friend since I have no relatives nearby and all close relatives are dead. HIPPA, I was told. What do they do for people who don't have any relatives? And for that matter, how would they have known if I hadn't put family friend in the box--not all of my relatives have the same last name as I do! Remember to initial your corrections.

Allot way more time than you think to get the passport(s). The clerk who helped us worked excruciatingly slowly. I understand they have to be careful and look everything over but this was ridiculous! I about went around the bend. Good thing she works for the government. There was only one person ahead of me the day I actually succeeded in getting into the office and it took nearly an hour to get finished. Yes, I let her know I had to be back to work. No, it did not do any good. And that was with all the forms printed and filled out beforehand. Take your kids out of school to get this done. There is no other option.

Do not expect the clerks to be knowledgeable about which offices do offer Saturday service (at least the ones in the local officer weren't). The website says our passport office does Saturdays by appointment. Well, not according to the folks who actually work there. They suggested I try the post office. Well, that would be a great idea--except the post office has almost no one able to provide passport services and all of them in our area have been switched to weekdays. Nearly 20,000 postal employees retired or left the postal service this year or so I was told.

Call ahead to find out the forms of payment accepted. Our office does not take cash. No credit. No debit.  Only checks and money orders. The one time I had cash, too. I think the website may have even said something about bringing in cash.

Processing times have pushed out to between six and eight weeks. Expedited service, which costs $60 more, will get it back hopefully in four weeks. You may be able to get it back in three weeks with overnight shipping both ways....And, if you don't have to make five trips, or schedule around work, school, and life. Or get the clerk I had. Good luck.

T-Shirt design and campaign slogan

Hey everybody! Need your input here. I'm going to sell t-shirts as a fundraiser and need help with design ideas and a slogan. There's a company that will print up the shirts and donate the proceeds to Immanuel's adoption fund. I'd like it to be something that pulls folks in and makes them want to know more and join the cause. So far, I've come up with this: Joyful Journey Adoption 1) Warrior 2) Army 3) Member or 4) Supporter. I like Warrior best since it is a battle to get through all the requirements, set-backs, changes, paperwork, financial hurdles, etc. And it is also a battle to advocate for children who so much need the love and support of a family because no matter how good their child care centers or foster families are, they're simply not a permanent home. What do you think? After reading my family's blog and our journey, what would you suggest? What ideas come to mind for you? Please leave a comment with them. Thank you so much!

First round of grant applications and more fundraiser stuff

Got one pre-app in tonight, another application finished and ready to go, a third one printed but not filled out (11 pages long). References alerted. Also looked at t-shirt slogans and graphics for that sale and fundraiser. Didn't really like any of the ones already created so I'm going to have to design one myself. That will be part of tomorrow's project.. I'll be at a holiday craft bazaar at the end of the month and an lining up some more for both the fundraiser and Tupperware. I'll post the t-shirt fundraiser as soon as I get it up and running. Hopefully by the end of the week? We'll have to sell 50 shirts or more before they'll print them. Should make really nice holiday gifts for people!

San Francisco here I come!

Or rather, here it comes. Our I797 should be in SF tomorrow morning. I sent it expedited but I've learned the consulate may be halting that service. Prayers requested that they will do it and that we get it back this week. Every day, every minute counts in this adoption!