Celebration of light, birth culture loss and growing our family culture

As I watched a family preparing themselves for a Diwali celebration at the beginning of the week, I pondered the loss of birth culture for my children. I thought about how their birth families might be celebrating and the traditions each may have for this holiday. For those not familiar with Diwali, it is the Hindu celebration of light and falls somewhere between the end of October to the first couple weeks in November. Rather than a single day, it is five days--each with its own theme. Family celebrations include special food, prayers, visiting family members, putting on new clothes, and chalk drawings.

This family  included all their members and friends in the festivities, a number of which were born with intellectual and physical challenges. My thoughts turned to my sons. How sad Miracle Man's family hasn't gotten to hear his laughter, listen to his stories, and know the pull of the charisma he exudes. Or even know that he lived and now thrives. I wish they could see him now and see the man he soon will become. Do they ever wonder about him? What is their life like now? What was it like when he was born? Miracle Man remembers enjoying fireworks set off for Diwali and the special time it was for him in India. Would he have had that in his birth family? What would their celebration have been like? And a bigger question: would they have celebrated Diwali? His family might not have been Hindu.

Miss Sunshine surely would have been putting on beautiful sari's or salwar kameez then applying bindis and henna drawings. I imagine her preparing for the holiday with her family and the joyous feeling they may have from visiting with all of their members and friends. I know her birth mother thinks of her even as she goes about her life now.

HH has lived in his birth culture all his years to date. In a little over a month he will either go from all he has known to a world so different he cannot imagine or he will stay in his birth culture but face a life of pain and shame--perhaps not knowing when he will eat again or where his head will rest after a day's toil.  Do his birth parents wonder about him? What would his life have been like if he could have remained with them? What would they celebrate in their family?

I can only give my children small pieces of their birth culture--from the outside. I can give the pieces of my culture which they may or may not keep going forward in their lives. In that way, we graft to one another to grow our family culture and make it our own. We celebrate Diwali, go to India Day celebrations, and eat Indian food. We have in the past gone to Asia Fest, celebrated Chinese New Year, and my children already home love Chinese food. Next year, these will all take on new meaning for us as we work to assimilate HH into our family and bring more of his culture into it.

Freight train a comin'!

That's how I'm feeling today. Tons of paperwork all due at once from every quarter. New system at work which isn't working any better than the new healthcare site. Computer keeps needing to be pushed to load webpages. My brain feels like something ate it, or it dropped out, or I lost it somewhere in my purse. I'll never find it if it's in my purse. I do clean it out. There's a black hole in there.. Honest.  Stuff disappears. Do you think it's related to the worm hole between my microwave and the car--cuz there must be a correlation someplace. Scratch that. A conspiracy. Logically, I know it doesn't take 20 minutes to walk the 30 feet from the microwave to the car. The time has been checked on both. It takes 20 minutes to walk from the microwave to the car. Just does. Cats to dodge/put out. Dog to bribe not to guilt me for not taking him to work. Lights. Grab the stuff Miracle Man was supposed to take out to recycling. Go back for paperwork I forgot.

Anyway, I'm feeling incredibly pressured right now. Only six more weeks. At most. Then HH will be coming home. So much to do between now and then. I wish I could clone myself several times. Or that I didn't need sleep. Or that the ADHD would go back in the box it came out of. God, please make it go away!

Really being tested right now, aren't I? I will win.

Something missing in translation?

So how accurate is Google translate? I went to look up the Chinese characters for HH's name and it doesn't come out the same as what I've been told his name means in English. Not even close. When I type in the translation I get something different again. I tried synonyms. I tried using the description of why he was named what he was named. Nothing. Hmmm.

Pick me! Pick Me! OOOh, ooh, oooh, pick me!

I see you standing on that chair waving your arms about as if you were a windmill, screaming at full volume. You want this so bad you can taste it, right? Right? Wrong.

I need to start sending Murphy birthday cards, presents, build an altar--something. Murphy who? You know...Murphy. The famous one. That Murphy. Of Murphy's Law fame. The man loves me.  Or maybe he hates me and has put a curse on me. I can't tell. All I know is that he and I do a lot together. Too much. Hasn't he ever heard of absence makes the heart grow fonder?

Jury duty. Grand jury duty. For a whole month. And no, they do not let you out of it if you write them a letter explaining what a hardship it will be for you, the plans you have that it will ruin, the impact on your boss' business. Not anymore. Yeah, if you're over 70, sole caregiver to small children for whom you cannot afford daycare or not a US citizen.

Did I need this a month before travel? Did I? When I need the income the most? And, I'm sorry, the puny $10 a day compensation really stinks (of which the municipal parking lot eats half and the burger joint the other half. So they may as well save a dime by not paying at all since they're getting it back anyway.)  I understand they don't want jurors to be in it for the money. But seriously, the guy at the freeway on ramp makes more in an hour!  It feels like my life will be held hostage. And the adoption. And the people I'm contracted to serve who won't get their services because I'm not there to help them.

A funny thing happened on the way to get the kids' passports renewed...

Or maybe not so funny. You decide. You know, adults can renew by mail, right? Lucky us! However,  If you have to go to an actual passport office or a post office, take notice. Children must go in whether it is a renewal or a brand new passport. Stands to reason--they change so much. This travail began over the summer. When the kids weren't in school. When my schedule was packed to the brim.  So far, I have made four trips to get my children's passports renewed. There will be at least a fifth trip. Trip one: office moved. I just assumed they would be in the same place they were a few years ago. The post office doesn't move so why should the passport office, right? Yeah, wrong.  Trip two: We arrive at 2:30 p.m. great, huh?! Not so great. On Friday's they aren't open till 3 p.m., they closed at 2 p.m. I pulled the kids out of school early for that fiasco. Trip three: one app accepted, one rejected. Trip four: they closed early (even though I got there before the posted closure time). You see, they "have paper work to do and there is no budge room on Friday's." That's what the clerk told me.  What happened with the rejected app you ask? Well, your photo cannot have the person smiling with their mouth open. This will be rejected. Costco didn't know that. Neither did I. Now we all know. Copy both front and back of supporting documents--on the same page. DO NOT copy back and front on separate pieces of paper and staple them together. You will either be told to go redo your copies or have to wait for the clerk to redo them for you.

Other things you should know: Your child's emergency contact must be a family member, not a family friend. I had put a family friend since I have no relatives nearby and all close relatives are dead. HIPPA, I was told. What do they do for people who don't have any relatives? And for that matter, how would they have known if I hadn't put family friend in the box--not all of my relatives have the same last name as I do! Remember to initial your corrections.

Allot way more time than you think to get the passport(s). The clerk who helped us worked excruciatingly slowly. I understand they have to be careful and look everything over but this was ridiculous! I about went around the bend. Good thing she works for the government. There was only one person ahead of me the day I actually succeeded in getting into the office and it took nearly an hour to get finished. Yes, I let her know I had to be back to work. No, it did not do any good. And that was with all the forms printed and filled out beforehand. Take your kids out of school to get this done. There is no other option.

Do not expect the clerks to be knowledgeable about which offices do offer Saturday service (at least the ones in the local officer weren't). The website says our passport office does Saturdays by appointment. Well, not according to the folks who actually work there. They suggested I try the post office. Well, that would be a great idea--except the post office has almost no one able to provide passport services and all of them in our area have been switched to weekdays. Nearly 20,000 postal employees retired or left the postal service this year or so I was told.

Call ahead to find out the forms of payment accepted. Our office does not take cash. No credit. No debit.  Only checks and money orders. The one time I had cash, too. I think the website may have even said something about bringing in cash.

Processing times have pushed out to between six and eight weeks. Expedited service, which costs $60 more, will get it back hopefully in four weeks. You may be able to get it back in three weeks with overnight shipping both ways....And, if you don't have to make five trips, or schedule around work, school, and life. Or get the clerk I had. Good luck.

Double celebration today!

Today is Miracle Man's birthday! Happy birthday! And what better gift? The news that we are dossier to China for his brother! Woot Woot! If you pray, please pray we will be LSC in two weeks rather than 2-3 months! Many thanks!

This week we celebrate Halloween, All Saints Day, and El Dia de los Muertos. There's another current running through this coming Sunday, Orphan Sunday. While we wouldn't be celebrating that 153 million children worldwide are orphans, there has been a movement among some church groups to dwell on support of orphans and orphan care together as a body on a single day. Here's the URL to their website http://orphansunday.org/

Since many liturgical churches celebrate All Saints Day this coming weekend, a friend of mine suggested we do Orphan Sunday on an alternate Sunday, St. Nicholas' feast day in Advent. Among other things, St. Nicholas is patron saint of children so it would be very fitting. What do you think?

It's official, we're live at Reece's Rainbow!

Do you know about Reece's Rainbow? It is an advocacy group for children with Down syndrome and other special needs. The group supports families whose children have Down syndrome and assists families in raising funds to adopt children with special needs.

HH qualifies both because he has missing digits and part of one of his legs and because he will age out soon. Donations to our personal Paypal account won't be tax deductible; However, those made via our Reece's Rainbow Family Sponsor Program donation box will be tax deductible. We will be holding some giveaways very soon. In addition to the giveaways, you can help by sharing on Facebook, your blog, emailing, tweeting, or even leaving a comment. If you feel moved to make a donation, know that Reese's Rainbow accepts checks as well as donations via Paypal. Paypal fees mean that not all of a donation goes to the intended family whereas a check completely goes to the family.

You can read our Family Sponsor Program page and learn more about Reece's Rainbow at the following link:

http://reecesrainbow.org/sponsortomaszewski

You'll find the donation box in the sign bar.

Keep checking back for news about the giveaway!

Samurai are Chinese, right mom?

No, sweetie they're not.

Well, they look like they could be Chinese.

They're Japanese.

So what did they do?

Well, they fought. They also composed poetry, created artwork, served in government...mostly, they were there to protect people.

Quite the trip today and quite an education for Miracle Man and Miss Sunshine. Miracle man has decided he likes samurai and wants to know more about them. The detail in the exhibit at the museum was awe inspiring to say the least. What work went into each suit, each piece of armor. And the art the samurai created! Some of the pieces were 500 years old. I think to create art is to glimpse immortality. Artists not only reach their contemporaries, they reach people in times and places they can never know and their influence echoes in the chambers of time.

T-Shirt design and campaign slogan

Hey everybody! Need your input here. I'm going to sell t-shirts as a fundraiser and need help with design ideas and a slogan. There's a company that will print up the shirts and donate the proceeds to Immanuel's adoption fund. I'd like it to be something that pulls folks in and makes them want to know more and join the cause. So far, I've come up with this: Joyful Journey Adoption 1) Warrior 2) Army 3) Member or 4) Supporter. I like Warrior best since it is a battle to get through all the requirements, set-backs, changes, paperwork, financial hurdles, etc. And it is also a battle to advocate for children who so much need the love and support of a family because no matter how good their child care centers or foster families are, they're simply not a permanent home. What do you think? After reading my family's blog and our journey, what would you suggest? What ideas come to mind for you? Please leave a comment with them. Thank you so much!

First round of grant applications and more fundraiser stuff

Got one pre-app in tonight, another application finished and ready to go, a third one printed but not filled out (11 pages long). References alerted. Also looked at t-shirt slogans and graphics for that sale and fundraiser. Didn't really like any of the ones already created so I'm going to have to design one myself. That will be part of tomorrow's project.. I'll be at a holiday craft bazaar at the end of the month and an lining up some more for both the fundraiser and Tupperware. I'll post the t-shirt fundraiser as soon as I get it up and running. Hopefully by the end of the week? We'll have to sell 50 shirts or more before they'll print them. Should make really nice holiday gifts for people!

Expedite processing alert!

This is for families going through the San Francisco PRC consulate: The consulate may be halting rush processing so be aware that it may take the full 15 days to get your documents sent back. Praying that ours make it through.

San Francisco here I come!

Or rather, here it comes. Our I797 should be in SF tomorrow morning. I sent it expedited but I've learned the consulate may be halting that service. Prayers requested that they will do it and that we get it back this week. Every day, every minute counts in this adoption!

How many times must a woman go to get a document notarized....

before she actually can find
someone who will do the stamp?
Not the bank!
And not the other bank!
FedEx doesn't do anymore
The realtor? No!

Yes, how many trips must a woman make
before she can drive
to the secretary of state
to get a stamp, to get a seal, to send the thing
to the consulate?


It's not as easy as you think
It should have been, but it wasn't.
They'd never seen...
They didn't know...Shouldn't there be somewhere to sign?
Shouldn't there be a typed line?

How many trips must a woman make
So the courier can take the approval
from the feds to the consulate
How many trips must it take!

The answer my friend, you will hear
The answer my friend, you will hear

But give me your guess
give me your guess

I800a approval

Hey, all! Exciting news! We received our I800a approval on Friday. I'll have to race around this coming week to get it notarized, verified and off to the consulate to be authenticated! This is the last document for our dossier. If I can get courier service to handle it that should shave a week off the turn-around time for the trip to the consulate. Then it will head up to our agency to be translated and sent with the rest of the documents to China. I'm thinking we should be DTC in two to three weeks if all goes well and LID should follow thereafter. We simply have to travel by the end of the first week in December--say prayers for us, okay? Everything has got to go without any delays or bumps from here on out or HH will lose out on getting a family and it is just not acceptable for that to happen! Remember too, to click through and make a donation to his adoption fund--any amount greatly appreciated.

Hopefully, I will have more exciting news by the end of the week--stay tuned!

Three articles on church support of international adoption families

Christianity Today article on how churches can support adoptive parents

These are really good--especially the last one. If you're not Christian, please don't let it deter you from reading the articles; they can be applied to your own center of faith too.

Donations are tax deductable via our Adopt Together grant fundraiser

You may have notice a new button on the left side of the blog labeled Adopt Together. They approved our account late last night. This is a 503c corporation which offers grants to adoptive families. Funds donated get pooled and the grant amounts received may be more or less than what is donated via each family's page depending on need, availability, etc. Requests for grants are reviewed monthly. The button will take you directly to our page there just like the Go Fund Me button takes you to our page at that website. The difference between the two is that our family gets everything donated to our GFM page but donations there are not tax deductible. The funds donated via Adopt Together are tax deductible but our family doesn't necessarily get all funds raised. Both organizations fund for causes in addition to adoption as well.

Kindly, donate via either site as you feel best suits you. All donations are greatly appreciated! There is also a url which can be shared in emails since the button doesn't like being shared: adopttogether.org/adoptimmanuel

Please share our story and encourage others to donate. We have so little time to bring HH home before he ages out and is lost!

Miss Sunshine celebrates liberation day!

She's dancin' yeah! Dancin' yeah! Why's she dancin'? No more booster seat! Miss Sunshine no longer has to perch in the infernal thing. She's been having me measure her every few days for the last couple years. Wow, end of an era. Unless she gets a little sister, the only one using the booster seat will be the dog. He likes the booster seat.

Two Steps Forward, Two Steps Back

The totals came out today and I made more than I thought from consigning at Superkids! Oh, happy day! During Superkids, I came down with 'the bug' and have been out sick from work all week so far--not much of it left!!

At the beginning of the week, my adoption worker informed me we do not have until December 30th to finalize HH's adoption; We have until December 23rd. I know, you're thinking. "big deal." Well,  each part of the process takes x amount of time and without any expedition the whole thing should take 5-6 months, not three. Right now, we're waiting to be assigned a caseworker with the National Benefits Center who will hopefully approve our I800a on the first go round. Next week, it will be 60 days since the old I800a hit the lockbox at NBC. I was updated today by one of the officers there that we should expect to be assigned our worker during the coming week. That is slightly longer than the average has been over the last year and if all goes well. The paperwork has to get sent to me, then go to the Chinese Consulate, back to me, then to our agency who has to have it and all of our other documents translated. That part should take about a month to six weeks. Then everything gets sent over to China for an approval which takes a few weeks. That puts us at the end of November. We then have to file the I800, get article 5, arrange to travel, get to China, spend two whirl wind weeks there while stuff gets processed there and come home. Do you see why I'm so concerned?

In other good news, NBC, and other bodies affecting adoptions are not impacted by the government shut down. I was sooo relieved to learn that! I have a bunch of necklaces almost completed for Friday's fundraising tent at First Friday but no knitted hats finished. I also have the preliminary application for the first grant just about completed. I should be able to send that in tomorrow.

Children in Families First 2013

When I created this post there wasn't a badge I could use to set up a connecting link to the CHIFF website so I shared their infographic regarding orphans and adoption which turned out to be much larger than I wanted on the front page of my blog roll.

In a nutshell, CHIFF or Children in Families First looks to improve children's lives world-wide by focusing on reducing the number of children world-wide who live without families. It's aim will be to build child welfare systems that reunify children with their biological families or see them adopted into extend family, their community of origin, domestically, or internationally. You'll find news and information on legislation, impact of living without a family, stories about orphans and other vital information.  I'm including the badge here and in the sidebar so it doesn't get lost in the archives.