I never thought I would run up against anything as challenging at the Indian domicile certificate. If you're not familiar with this document, any person in India can go down to their local police station and obtain one. It verifies who they are and where they live. Should be easy, right? Back when I was adopting Miss Sunshine, I spent two weeks on the phone with various state, regional, county, and city employees trying to get an equivalent of the domicile certificate here in the states. I can tell you that the police here will not do it. The county property assessor's office will not either. City hall won't. Strings had to be pulled to get someone in the state government to do it. I can hear you thinking, "Couldn't you have had your lawyer draft a letter to that effect for you?" Which is what several people asked in those two weeks of calling. No, it had to be on government letterhead.

Well, now I have the China process equivalent of that challenge. . And it doesn't seem like it should be that big a deal. Because I am self-employed, my agency needs a statement from an accountant verifying that I make what I make. My businesses so far are fairly simple so  I don't use an accountant. Twelve phone calls today with several of the accountants telling me that since they didn't do my taxes and didn't know me from Eve, they couldn't possibly verify my income. One may call me back tomorrow with what they need to do the job at $140 per hour with an estimated 2-4 hour time frame or about $540 at the projected high end. I need to get this done asap since my son has only until January 1 before he ages out.

"And another one's gone and another one's gone and another one bites the dust!"

Magic Chef waved it's wand for the last time this morning. Lights on, nobody home...we killed another microwave today. It just couldn't take the strain of daily use. One year and one week since purchase, don't ya know! So thankful I bought the extended warranty this time! It  is the fourth or fifth microwave in six years. I've lost count. I think it is fifth. I bought a pricier one last year in hopes that it would last longer.

Kind of disgusting the way they don't last. Mom's microwave bought in the late 70s worked fine when I sold it ten years ago. Probably still working for whomever bought it.

Home Depot will credit me the purchase price of my latest kill before the weekend is out and I'll be able to get number six. They were really great about it and asked me to dispose of the deceased  responsibly. The county recycling center is right across the street from the  Home D location nearest us but the guy in customer service at the 1-800 number has no idea.

Any recommendations on microwave brands? I've killed Panasonic, Sunbeam, Samsung and now Magic Chef. Who should I try next? Think I should get an extended warranty again?

Finish line in sight!

Almost done with the paperwork my social worker needs to complete his report and get the homestudy done. We only have until next week. I'm almost done with the dossier paper work too. Just a couple items and having a CPA go over the financials and give a statement of what my earnings are and the prospects for earning the same thing next year. Anybody know a CPA they could recommend? After that's done, I plan to hand-carry the docs down to our state capital to get the apostiles to expedite that part of the process. I hope there is a way I can expedite the I-800. We're really HH's last hope for a family!

Miracle Man surgery switcharoo

For the last couple years we've been working toward a bone graft for Miracle Man's jaw and had planned on that surgery for this summer; Unfortunately, his teeth have to move more and this is taking longer. His team has decided to go ahead with some lip repair and rhinoplasty. The doctors will move part of his nose down toward it's final position but cautioned that it will need to be moved more during the next surgery. So we're looking at surgery toward the end of August. Too bad it will be so close to the start of school! Talk about thrilled! Miracle Man can't wait to look more like his peers! So important at his age. His only concern was whether he would be able to play soccer and happily learned he would be able to start with his team.

No Time to Lose!

All our paperwork has to be sent to China by September 1! I'm expediting everything that I can. In our state we can walk in to get copies of vital records so that is really lucky. It is a lot quicker than ordering off the web which can take a couple weeks to arrive. Another area which can be expedited is after all the docs have been notarized; We can take them to our secretary of state's office to be apostiled. Of course, if I lived on the other side of the state that might be a pain! That should shave another week or so off the process. The really big bugaboo is the I-800 process. That usually takes a couple months. Anybody know if that can be expedited? What about the authentication process for going to the Chinese consulate in San Francisco? I sure hope there is a way! Say, can that be hand carried? Might be worth the consideration. HH's future is on the line. What is a couple hundred dollars compared to that?!

"You gotta want it bad enough."

Those are lyrics from one of my favorite Kenny Rogers songs. Kenny, if by some act of God you should ever read this, thank you so very much for the tremendous gift of that song! It has gotten me through so much over the years. We made it. Thanks to some really good friends who came over several days running to help with the final work that I was unable to do this past week due to the car accident I was in last Monday. I am so very thankful. Proud too. Miracle Man worked so hard and was such a trooper! We all worked as hard as possible and as we were able. The floor marathon ended Saturday night about 9 p.m. Vinyl planking turned out to not be quite as easy as Pergo since I had to use a box cutter instead of the Skil Saw but was much easier than if  I'd had to do roll or peel and stick. The living room looks so nice!

We've moved now from home study to paper-chase for the dossier. I have several pieces of that compilation put together already. One really amazing item: the state abuse clearance from our state normally takes 50-55 days. Mine came back in 14 days! Thank you, God! This all means we will soon need to fund some pretty sizeable chunks of money. I have already started a Go Fund Me fundraiser and will be posting other fundraisers either on the front page or in the Fundraisers tab as they start. Clicking on the badge at left will take you to the posts on the God Fund Me website. It shows a breakdown of the costs involved and what is needed. I will update that as time goes by so folks can see where we're at.

We will not give up!

While it could have been worse, it couldn't have happened at a worse time. A few hours ago I was rear-ended by another driver. The car in front of me had stopped and I had stopped as well. Thankfully, there were no broken bones or life-threatening injuries. I am hurting and will  see the doctor tomorrow. The trunk of the car can't be opened because the fender is crumpled up over part of it. The lock is unoperable and to my dismay, the trunk light was on. I called the car company after discovering this and while playing answer all their questions, repeatedly telling the lady on the other end of the line that I couldn't understand her  and to speak more clearly, the car's battery went dead. In my driveway. Nose in. When towing this vehicle you're supposed to do it from the front.

My plans for this evening had been to finish installing the vinyl plank floor in my living room and to do some painting. I don't know how that will happen now. I'm going to delegate as much to Miracle Man but he, after all, is still a boy. The final home study visit is this week and we have no more budge room to finish repairs on the house. I am down. I am not out. I will find a way to get everything done. I will not let HH's future go into darkness because of this or any other roadblock. I will go over, under, around, break through or blast to smithereens the difficulties in the way. I will break on through to the other side. HH will know a family. My family. We are coming HH. We will not give up!

3/18/2013 What do the children who get passed over feel about adoption?

What do the children who get passed over feel about adoption?


Warning: Have your kleenex ready.
In "Stuck" older adoptees tell what it meant to them. Please watch the movie, then join the fight to give all children a family by adding  your name to  the petition.


http://www.change. org/petitions/ make-a-child-
s-right-to- a-family- our-priority

My post on the petition:

I am mother to two wonderful adopted children and expectant mother to two more children by adoption. While my first daughter would probably have eventually found a family had I not adopted her, neither of my sons would have received a family if it were not for me. My first son has a rare syndrome which scared prospective parents off. His birth parents would not have been able to address his needs had they chosen to raise him. The director of his child care center told me no one in his 6 1/2 years had ever even asked for his file. I am a single mother. There were roadblocks to his adoption and weeks before I was to step on the plane to bring him home, the unthinkable happened: I was outsourced. I know you think I shouldn't have proceeded. I didn't turn my back on him. I had the resources. I stepped out on faith and brought him home anyway. He is now a teenager and as awesome a son as you can imagine. Where would he be if I hadn't? He was not allowed to go to school with the other children and would not have been until he had had enough operations so that he looked like everyone else--meaning he would never have gotten an education. He eventually would have ended up living on the streets, the object of ridicule, and suffering all kinds of abuse.

My son-to-be has waited for over 13 years. He has limb differences. That's all. Our local Shriner's Hospital can fit him with the prosthesis he needs. He is a very handsome young man, well-spoken, confident, and very deserving of a family--which all children are. In a few months, he will no longer be eligible for adoption. His future without a family, bleak.

In the course of adopting my children, I have worked two jobs at times, built an addition on my house (doing a lot of the work myself!) and now look toward successfully fundraising for my last two. I wish I could say they weren't my last and maybe they won't be but they likely will be. The need is so very great. Some of us feel called to have and ultimately do have birth children. Others have birth children and feel the pull of domestic or international adoption or both. Others, for whatever reason, only adopt.

I've said it many times: adoption is not for the faint of heart. An adoptive parent must be willing to undergo scrutiny by local, state, federal, and international governmental bodies, independent agencies  and a slew of other people and bodies who hopefully all concur the prospective parent worthy of parenting a child. Adoptive parents often have been through nightmare pregnancies and painful losses to realize their dream of a family. Financial burdens and an ever-changing landscape of requirements leaves many would-be adoptive parents discouraged, disheartened, and feeling the mountain is too high to climb. Biological parents don't typically have to face all this.

Every child deserves the love and care of an appropriate family. They deserve education, healthy living; freedom from abuse, neglect, forced labor, human traficking, ridicule, and stigmatization. Putting the adoption tax credit into law was a great step forward. We must step out in faith and with supreme courage and boldly make it our mission, our cause and our duty to ensure each and every child, everywhere, does not go without their needs being met. Period.

3/1/2013 We have a date!

Our first homestudy visit will be this Sunday! Yay! So, I'm sick. Fever, chills, and painting in my son's room when I should be resting. Lol, what else! When I finish in there I get to remove the carpet in the living room. I'm looking forward to that like a hole in my head! Very excited about the homestudy!

2/9/2013 Found it!

Found what?! I found where HH is! Confusion cleared. Won't say where he is but I am so very happy to have found it!

2/4/2013 And they're off and running and running....

Both sinks and toilet plus blackberries slain, that's thanks to DS1 aka Miracle Man. Honestly, I don't know what I would do without him. He is sooo very talented in figuring out how to do things! While he worked on aforementioned projects, which had taken one look at me and cackled, I took on fixing his dresser. I have tweaked it repeatedly over the years without great success--since he used it as a ladder when he was little. I adjusted runners, put in washers, got longer screws, and on and on. I finally realized the bloody thing was bowed in the middle--hence the top and bottom drawers worked just fine, thank you very much! But the middle two wouldn't ever get even close to staying in their tracks. Two trips to Ace, 24 screws (all but six shredded, yes they were steel), several drill bits and drivers later, plus a couple hunks of wood and nails thrown in for good measure, and it all works--no slipping, no dreaded ka-chunk, squeal, falling stuff. Just nice gliding like it is supposed to be. Whew! I sure did enjoy hitting the thing with the hammer, though, made me feel lots better.  The parts for the 1-year-old fridge--with the warrantee that doesn't cover handles and shelves--should be in tomorrow and easy to put in, yeah, right. But that's tomorrow. Anyone need some car tires? A shed cum chicken coop? A really old king bed?

1/30/2013 Hyper-drive

Our family-finder emailed me today, she heard back already from China and we have been matched with HH! Not only that, our homestudy social worker emailed me too! I was kind of hoping we'd hear late next week! For those not familiar with the adoption process, we now have pre-approval (P.A.).  I also heard from the program handling some of the work on our house...I have to re-apply. It never ends! Well, now to get everything done, done well, and quick! Lord, mountains must move!

1/28/2013 Keyed chucks and melted fasteners

In this day and age of keyless chucks, why is it that my only surviving drill is the keyed one from my father? That chuck wastes my time with having to crank, untwist the key, crank, untwist the key, repeat, repeat, repeat to get a bit tightened in. Process in reverse to get the bit out when I finish drilling pilot holes, then forward again to tighten the inserted screwdriver bit. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Last night, I put in a new hand towel ring and after three attempts finally got the new toilet paper holder in place. Never could get the set screws to stay tight in the old ones so out with them! While the towel ring didn't give any trouble, the toilet paper one proved problematic. The fasteners didn't want to go in right and when I did get them in, they melted or had to be pulled out again because the screws that followed wouldn't go in all the way. I ruined several fasteners and screws  while contorting myself around the toilet to fit drill, screw, and hand in between cabinet and potty. And finally...found the second piece of hardware was off by, oh, half an INCH!!! Start over. Ruin more hardware. ARGGGHHH! Moved everything the wrong direction. Start again! Finally got it. Most of the goofs won't show thank goodness. I decided the grab bar should wait...especially since it would need a stud finder to ensure proper installation. Thought I would get to that today, but no. The "short" errands needed to accomplish this and other parts of the other projects took way too much time. Tomorrow morning, it's the grab bar's turn. Then the only hardware will be the towel rack which is on order. Phew! After all the running around, I found the melamine shelf I had had cut to size wasn't dimensional and didn't fit into the unit I'd cut them for. There must be a reason. There must be a reason. I'll keep telling myself that.

1/25/2013 Pre-app on its way to China!

Our agency emailed me that our pre-app has been translated and sent to China. It should take 1-2 weeks for it to be evaluated for approval. We've also learned they have the name of a family who will be adopting HH's good friend and we will be put in contact with them. I hope the boys will be able to visit one another! Tomorrow I make an appointment to get everyone's passports renewed so that part of the process will get done for the dossier. I'm also taking the list of medical tests to my primary so she will have an idea what we will need to be doing. Getting ready to kick everything into gear! :)

1/23/2013 Convergences

This week I am dealing with convergences. What kind of convergences you ask? Everything happening at once. In November/December several areas of life conspired to have major amounts of paperwork due all at the same time. Now, household repairs. Not the ones I had been planning to do or knew I needed to do. No siree! In the past week two sinks, one toilet, the front gate, and refrigerator (just over a year old mind you!) have broken, needed repairs or required more repairs. So I've repaired the toilet, taken apart sink one and am poised to install the new hardware for it, began installation of a grab bar so HH can get in and out of the tub without problems, new hardware for the hand towel ring, TP roller, and will be ordering a double towel bar so all the kids will have their own place to hang their towels. The old towel bars, et al never stayed up. There must be some secret to tightening those teeny screws that are supposed to hold them on the brackets. Not sure what it is but I missed that lesson. In all of this, I realized I probably will need to install railings for the front and back steps for HH...there are only two steps up each but it likely will be something we'll need to do.

1/19/2013 Success!!

Third time was a charm! The documents will get translated and sent off to China next week. Then we have maybe six to eight weeks until they respond with an approval or denial.

1/18/2013 Oh, No!

Here we go again! Perhaps the third time will be the charm. Monday, I thought I had emailed all of the documents to our agency for our PA. Today, I got an inquiry about when I would be sending everything and stating that it all had to be in by tomorrow. Well, I sent two parts of what they needed, document one and the scanned signature page of document two without the rest of the document, oops! So tonight I sent the missing document. ADHD, knock it off and let me do what I need to do!

1/14/2013 2nd Round finished and re-submitted, yahoo!

Thanks to one of my friends, the forms have been translated into a fillable format that would save, retained the logos, and can be read by our adoption agency! What a relief to have that behind me! Next stop, get passports renewed!

1/9/13 And, it's not done yet. Re-do it.

Round two paperwork submitted on Friday has to be re-done by hand. The translation from Adobe to Open Office to Word gave them gobbledeegook. I'm so thrilled I could scream! writing by hand is so slow and cumbersome. And my handwriting is the pits. Well, at least it isn't the 23-page missive.

12/30/12 Paperwork!!!

The first batch of paperwork went to the agency at the beginning of the month. I have been working on completing the second batch which the agency will send to China for pre-approval. Last week, I got the third batch of paperwork and more information on our young man, including a couple of videos. DS's room still is not finished, nor the carpet ripped out, etc. I did get in there to go through his things and straighten them. I should get that done at least this coming week. There were a few other speed bumps: my paycheck got shorted $500 and won't be credited until January. Go figure, when I needed it to be of record most! So, well, I went out and sold more Tupperware. Still should sell more before the year ends just to make sure I have earned enough to satisfy the requirements. That all took time but should be worth it in the end. Next challenges will be getting the house finished, going through the homestudy, beginning fundraising in earnest and applying for grants while putting the dossier together. I can't wait to have it all done! the more I look at young Mr. Joyful, the more I feel he belongs in my family.

6/12/12 Long day's journy into another country

Well, it certainly has been a long time since the last post! Since then, we've lost little "R" due to changes with her placing agency and country of origin. During the intervening time we also lost a couple other children from the same country for a variety of reasons. Very discouraging! I couldn't bear to post anything until now. I began to explore other countries and programs after the last little one I lost. I felt adrift without knowing which way to turn until about two weeks ago when a lady called from the agency here to inquire if we were still going to adopt or not and said that she felt their China program would be a good fit for us. I have to say that I had been looking at several of the children from China on their website; however, I had been set on bringing home siblings and knew that wouldn't be possible with China. This phone call was what I needed to hear. I knew the names of the children whose files I wanted to see and rattled them off and later emailed a couple of additions. I poured through the files on each child, narrowed down to two boys whom I couldn't separate in my mind even though I was already leaning toward one of them. I sent the files to two friends with medical and behavioral backgrounds to get their input. We all agreed on the same boy. I am now in the throes of completing the paperwork that will go to China as I continue to work to make my house what it needs to be. I have been blessed with the means to overcome a couple of hurdles already toward this adoption in the last two weeks and now believe this is the direction I and my family are meant to take.

5/22/2011 Little "R" Update

"R" now walks around the playground, the agency reports. She likes her AFOs.  AFOs? I thought she was supposed to be wearing HKAFOs. Does this mean the casting last year improved her ability to walk that much? Is it just that that's what they have for her? They've scheduled surgery for her to improve continence when just a couple months ago they said they didn't have the resources to keep cathing her, what's up with that?! Glad to hear these things. They still haven't answered my questions from last fall. Grrrr. Maybe they just don't know on a lot of them.

May 18 2011

The second home study visit was postponed until today. Just as well. I nearly killed myself getting ready for it anyway. Over the past weeks we've rearranged our laundry room, kitchen cupboards, and bathrooms to reflect the requirement that all cleaners and medicines need to be locked up so children and young adults can't access them. Bought a new fire extinguisher since the ones I already had weren't the level the state now requires adoptive parents to have. Cleaned the living room carpet over 5 days since they now worry about allergies caused from carpeting and things it harbors only to find out they want the carpeting replaced with wood, laminate or tile so there will be a third visit to make sure the carpet is gone (not sad about this but it is only 5 years old). I spent several hours framing and installing a door for the furnace closet which didn't get done in the remodel. I did okay but would have done better if not under time crunch. What purpose is there in a keyed chuck except to waste my time? I hate the bloody things! Also put in a couple of kitchen cupboard doors that needed doing, plotting fire escape routes and posted them, and made sure every detail in the public areas of the house were taken care of.

They're thinking it would be good for DS to have more out of school activities and mentioned may be group therapy as an insurance against negative fallout from middle school involving his disfigurement. Both could be a good thing. I mentioned the activities he already participates in and our plans for the future for him. I wonder what the third visit will bring?

May 1 2011

We had our first home study visit yesterday. It went well. DD talked the social worker's ears off. The state has some new requirements we'll have to go through--so what else is new? The only thing that remains constant in the adoption world is change! We have another visit next week. DD worries about not being the baby anymore. Reassured her she would always be my first baby and just gets to wear a new hat now and will always have another girl to play with.

Homestudy bound

April 20, 2011 Looks like we'll be doing the homestudy for little "R" next week. The house needs work but is in the best shape it's been for any of the kids' homestudies. We've received new photos and an update. I've also learned we may be eligible for an additional grant for the final agency fee. That still leaves the other agency fees, dossier preparation fees, I-800A, visa, medicals and several other expenses to get covered. I'm looking into more grants and also have taken a lot of good advise on fundraising.  I hope to be able to do a pay pal button on the blog with the funds going to the agency.  Have to see if it can be set up that way.

The kids are wondering if "R" will be able to ride a bike or scooter. I've told them it might have to be a special adaptive machine.  "R" fell, cut her chin open, and had to have stiches.  She didn't tell anybody about it and bled a lot.  They think she's got a high pain tolerance so I'm preparing for the possibility that she may have some sensory processing issues just in case.

DD won a game at school and declared she did so for her new little sister. The kids were fantastic helping in the yard today.  The front yard looks almost the way I want it to for now. We'll move work indoors probably tomorrow as I have a feeling our spring is over for a week or two and we're back into cold and wet.